Stressed about Work

I recently changed jobs (5th week now) from an operations/frontline position to a planning/strategy position. In my previous job, whatever I do impacts the receiver both directly and indirectly. I can see the effects of what I do translating into better outcomes for the receiver almost immediately most of the time. This ultimately brings about the job satisfaction. However, ever since “moving behind the scenes”, I find it very difficult to see what I am currently doing affecting the end users. Everyone, especially my immediate boss, has been telling me what I am doing will benefit them eventually, and I also tell that to myself at times. However, I get really confused at times when I am tasked to do certain stuffs and I really cannot appreciate that whatever I am doing is benefiting others ultimately. However, I got really stressed especially today. I understand what I was supposed to do but I do not know how to go about doing it. The fact that I cold not really visually what my work would mean for the end user just make things worse. *stressed!*

How I feel about my work
How I feel about my work

In the picture above, everyone is able to see the connection of what I do translating into outcomes for the end users. The link they see is very clear and straightforward. For me, there are many connections between what I do and the end result. However, the connections do not reach the end point. Instead of a direct connection, I see only a big mess, a maze in between them. The connections also start out as strong, thick lines but gradually they became lighter lines as the links in my brain fade away…

Then I realised something about myself: when I am stressed, I would want to understand more about my work and would aim to work hard to finish it early. That was why I almost brought my laptop home for the first time today because I wanted to work on it. However, I realised that I was really stressed and I actually did not want to think about work anymore after work. I wanted to run away from it, avoid it, sit on it, sleep on it and face the problem again tomorrow. I know this is very cowardly of me and that this is “ostrich behaviour” but I realised that after I left work behind and calmed down, I was able to think more clearly about my work. Now, I cannot wait for work to start again tomorrow just so that I can pen down my thoughts and start working again. Lol~

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